Artemis Fowl Book 4: Keeping it legal
by neopyro
Summary: Thanks to Mulch, Artemis's memories are back. How can he keep it from the people? How will he use his knowlege of the Fairy world?
1. Default Chapter

Artemis was awoken by the sound of the manor doorbell. Stretching, he walked to the entrance. A look through the peephole showed him a short man wearing a trench coat and massive amounts of sunscreen.  
  
He set his hand on the holster to the 9mm pistol he had started carrying recently, and opened the door.  
  
"Hello Artemis. I am here to fulfill my part of our agreement. Oh D'arvit. I forgot about the mind wipe. This is going to be harder than I thought."  
  
"Agreement? D'arvit? Mind wipe? Could you clarify a bit Mister." was his questioning response  
  
"Diggums. Mulch Diggums. Shall I be blunt and to the point?" Mulch answered  
  
"Yes. I'm trying to figure out a reason for me not to shoot you." Artemis added coldly  
  
"OK. OK. Pretty much you stumbled upon a secret. A secret many people wouldn't want anyone knowing. You proved the existence of another race. You swindled them out of a few million dollars worth of gold, and in turn they wiped your memories."  
  
It tied in perfectly. There was a large sum of gold in his vault that hadn't been there before. He did have several large gaps in his memory of the past several years.  
  
"Come on in Mr. Diggums. I believe your information will prove helpful."  
  
Mulch entered giving Artemis the disc and coin, teaching him all he knew of the People.  
  
It happened like a camera flash. First he was scrolling through the disk (containing an English and Gnommish copy of the Booke of the People, a translator key, and a typed diary of his last few years.) and BAM! He was out cold. In about thirty seconds, he came to. His memories, feelings, thoughts and experiences of the past two and a half years came rushing back.  
  
He was complete again. His mind was racing. Holly, Root, Foaly, Opal Kuboi. He remembered everything. For some reason, the thought of the auburn-haired LEP officer gave him an unfamiliar emotion. Deciding to dwell on recognizable thought area, he started to plot.  
  
"So, Mulch. How can I, no sorry WE get more money legally, without alerting the people to my memory restoration?"  
  
"I thought brilliant schemes was your area. I'm just the computer. You're the mind that operates it. Everything's 50-50 right?" Mulch asked  
  
"Of course." (Artemis shook Mulch's hand)  
  
They sat silently thinking for a few moments before Mulch spoke.  
  
"So how about pumping some of your knowledge of fairy technology into work. If you patented some new ideas in that area Foaly would just brush it off as a small memory leakage." Mulch suggested  
  
"See?" Artemis exclaimed "I knew you had schemes in you somewhere."  
  
**Holly's house- Haven**  
  
"HOLLY! HOLLY HOW COULD YOU? NOOOOOOOO!" Artemis's scared form screamed as he was taken to the memory-erasing ward.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't stop this Artemis." Holly replied sadly  
  
"WHY? Holly! HELP ME!"  
  
"I can't do anything." She protested  
  
"HOLLY SHORT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I WILL HAVE REVENGE!!!" Artemis yelled as the flash of the memory wipe lit up the hall.  
  
Artemis left the ward.  
  
"Hello. Who are you?" Artemis asked  
  
"Artemis? It's me, Holly. Don't you remember?" She asked, tears trickling down her elfin cheeks.  
  
"No. Sorry. You must have the wrong person. Bye lady." He said walking off  
  
Holly awoke sobbing. It was just a dream. actually, it wasn't. she was destined to never talk to Artemis Fowl ever again. That was that, and she could do nothing of it. No LEP member was allowed within two miles of the fowl property. If they came anything close to it, their badge was gone.  
  
Holly turned her head towards her alarm clock. 7:15. She had twenty minutes until she was supposed to wake. Not enough time for more sleep, just enough time for her to get in for Root's early morning rant. She had just pulled on her boots when the two-way radio installed into her badge began to beep.  
  
"SHORT!!!!" Commander root's voice filled the room.  
  
Deciding on false cheerfulness, she responded.  
  
"Aye Commander. I am at your beck and call." Holly said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.  
  
"Can the theatrics. We have a suicidal Goblin hit attack squad just outside Dublin. You're the only available unit. Get yourself a gun and get your pointy ears up there."  
  
"Yes sir." She responded  
  
"I said to can the theatrics. The council won't take much more from you. They're still touchy about losing the gold two years ago. I can't hold you a job forever Captain. Over and out."  
  
Holly grabbed her buzz baton and ran full clip towards the shaft to Tara.  
  
**Fowl Manor- the computer room**  
  
"And. finished." Artemis said  
  
"All I need now is to attach this to different types of computers. Fancy a run to an electronics dealer?" Artemis finished  
  
"Not running, but I would drive there." Mulch pointed out  
  
"You got what I meant. Are you coming or not?" Artemis asked  
  
"I'll go." Mulch replied  
  
They hopped in the car and made their way to the computer shop, butler at the wheel.  
  
**Surface station - Tara**  
  
The first breath of surface air was heavenly. Holly strapped on a Hummingbird, adjusted her helmet and slid her trusty Neutrino 3000 into its holster.  
  
Popping her knuckles, she took flight towards the red blip on her helmet screen.  
  
**Shopping Center-Dublin**  
  
Artemis, Butler and Mulch walked into the computer store. Artemis quickly located the newest and most expesive computer in the shop. He removed the phone jack and plugged in his device. He pressed the log in button, figured out the password and hit the connect to the Internet button. Within moments he had a connection. Grinning, he gave Mulch and Butler a high-five.  
  
He pulled out his key to success and returned the computer to the state it was in when he got there. Dodging salespeople he made his way to the exit, stopping only to put some money a charity for disenfranchised children. Not something he usually did, but when you had the key to billions in your back pocket, you really felt generous.  
  
The automatic door pulled open and the parking lot came into view. All three of their heads turned when they heard an earsplitting cry for help. There were twenty unshielded Goblins in the parking lot.  
  
A/n: So? How's chapter one? It's a bit fast moving I know, but hey, I try. It's better than stories that take ten chapters before you even get to see Holly. Pairing votes anyone? 


	2. The Great Goblin Escape

Keeping it Legal  
  
Chapter 2: The Great Goblin Escape  
  
Fireballs started flying instantly. Artemis and Butler ducked behind one of the support beams for the shopping center while Mulch went back into the Electronics store, and **accidentally** knocked the phone off the front desk counter. (The people inside the store hadn't noticed the goblins yet.)  
  
Butler and Artemis drew their guns. The goblins directed all fire (literally) at the pillar Butler and Artemis were hiding behind.  
  
They were fighting smarter. In fact, it seemed like they WERE smarter than their last encounter with the Goblins.  
  
Artemis peeked out for a moment.  
  
The Goblins were firing in a synchronized manner. In fact they were chanting. "Fire one! Fire two!"  
  
This wasn't good. Artemis noticed something about the Goblins. They were wearing headphones and a weird bracelet. The weird thing about the bracelet is it went on top of the head like a halo except without the floating.  
  
They must be receiving orders through the headsets.  
  
Butler fired off a few shots. The first two made a sound as if they struck metal. The third shot was followed by a loud explosion Butler had shot the fuel tank on one of the cars. The goblins got up and picked their wounded from the ground. There was a faint blue glow as the Goblins faded out of sight.  
  
Holly- the shopping center  
  
Holly did a quick overhead flyby. No Goblins in sight they had been there though. A car had been exploded and a pillar had been half melted.  
  
"Wha?" she mumbled  
  
'I could've sworn that was Artemis over there.'  
  
Holly brushed it off as a hallucination  
  
"Holly?" Foaly said in her helmet "The Goblins disappeared from all screens. Either they're gone or they're dead. Doesn't matter which. However now there's been a Howler's Peak breakout. I don't know how many escaped yet but get your little trigger-happy self back here. We need you."  
  
Holly sighed. This was going to be a long day.  
  
Artemis- Fowl Manor  
  
"What?" Juliet demanded "What do you mean telaporting goblins? The People haven't even invented telaporting yet."  
  
"You think I don't know that?" Artemis responded  
  
"Well. looks like the dung has hit the fan then." Mulch supplied  
  
"Naw. you don't say?" Artemis replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice  
  
Mulch, Butler and Juliet stared at him as though he had just flunked a test or something.  
  
"Y-y-you. you used sarcasm?" Juliet spluttered  
  
"Whoa!" Butler exclaimed in a very un-Butlerlike manner  
  
Mulch was speechless.  
  
"What is wrong with sarcasm?" Artemis asked  
  
"Nothing. It just doesn't suit you." Juliet replied  
  
**With Holly- Howler's Peak**  
  
Holly stood at the gates of the prison. It was quiet, too quiet. Howler's Peak was usually louder than a thousand drunken mud men. Holly drew her Neutrino from it's holster and motioned for the rest of the squad to follow suit.  
  
There came the sound of twenty-nine more Neutrinos being drawn. Holly lead the squad to the password operated fireproof door and typed in the eleven digit number and the door hummed to life. The door moved upwards revealing to Holly the scariest thing she had ever seen.  
  
All of the cells were empty. Every last one of them.  
  
**With Artemis- The next day in the computer lab**  
  
"The cordless internet designs are complete, people start work on the factory Tuesday. IBM paid me one billion dollars to design a working product for them. I finished that as well. It's time to make a new invention. But what type of invention?" Artemis said to himself  
  
"You're the genius, not me. I just hurt people." Butler replied  
  
Artemis ignored him and continued talking to himself.  
  
"I need to find something that will help people. Maybe the cure to a disease? POLLUTION! That's a major problem in the world. What is a major pollutant that needs to be remedied." Artemis looked at the car model Butler was working on and grinned. There was money in the automobile market just waiting to be had.  
  
**With Holly- Ops booth**  
  
"EVERY GOBLIN UNDER THE EARTH CAN'T JUST 'GO MISSING!' FIND THEM FOALY! D'ARVIT!" Root howled  
  
Foaly was ready to faint. He hadn't slept since the before the Goblins vanished two days ago. Holly looked around the room, from the ground to a pulp cigars to the scary look on Root's face. Holly decided that she did not want to be anywhere near there and walked towards the door. Holly evaded anyone in the building who might stop and attempt conversation with her, and a few people who wouldn't. She wanted sleep. She hadn't slept either.  
  
She opened the door to her room and closed it behind her. Holly threw herself onto her bed and fell asleep instantly. She was to have an amazing night of Artemis filled dreams. 


End file.
